The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
50% drunk capacity currently
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
