I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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