There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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