I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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