I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
so let's talk penis.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
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