"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I will pee on everything he values.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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