k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
