wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
