Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Randomize
