So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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