If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
