And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Randomize
