he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
