if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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