I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
