now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
