If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
