i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
