Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
