I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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