Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
vagina is talking i cant
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
