Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
