Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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