yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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