How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
