I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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