Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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