Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
