oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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