yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
