I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
