Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
