this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
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