At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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