There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
