You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
