there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
