She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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