she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
