He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
