You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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