i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
