You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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