If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
