Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize