I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
