I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
barbara walters just said penis...
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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