I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
