Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
