Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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