It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
