I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
