i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Randomize
