Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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